The Sacred Lore
Imagine this: it is 4am, you are watching Solana validators go brrr, and you accidentally knock over two shakers on your desk. One is labeled SOL. The other is labeled PUMP. They fall into your ramen.
What happens next? Nobody knows. But your Phantom wallet started glowing, your screen turned purple-green, and the Solana blockchain briefly hiccupped. Some say a new flavor was born. Others say it was just the gas fees cooking.
The shakers were never found again. Only their essence remained -- swirling in the cauldron of pump.fun, seasoning every trade, flavoring every candle. Some degens claim they can still hear the faint sound of salt crystals hitting liquidity pools at night.
"ser, the ramen was never the same after that night"
How to Get Seasoned
(not financial advice, just culinary guidance)
Wake Up at 4am
Real ones know the best seasoning happens when normal people sleep. Open your Phantom wallet. Stare at the balance. Whisper 'today we cook'.
Load the SOL Cannon
Transfer some SOL to your wallet. Not financial advice -- we literally do not know what we are doing. But the cauldron needs fuel.
Throw It in the Cauldron
Go to pump.fun, paste the contract, click swap, and pray to the Solana validators. Congratulations, you are now seasoned.
The Numbers
we asked the cauldron for tokenomics, it burped these out
no dev wallets. no hidden fees. just vibes and seasoning.
Meme Kitchen
actual recipes from degens who cook at 4am
4am Degen Ramen
Ingredients: 1 cup SOL, 2 pinches of hopium, leftover candles from yesterday
Best consumed while your portfolio is either +500% or -90%. No in between.
The Pump Soup
Ingredients: Fresh liquidity, a fistful of green candles, one suspicious whale
Tastes amazing for exactly 47 seconds. Then it gets... interesting.
Diamond Hand Steak
Ingredients: Aged SOL, dry-rubbed with conviction, seared over FUD flames
Only real ones can stomach this. Minimum holding time: until your wife asks questions.
Paper Hand Salad
Ingredients: Wilted gains, bitter regret, zero seasoning, tears (dressing)
Sold at the bottom. Classic recipe. Everyone has made this at least once.
The Master Plan
(we are making this up as we go, honestly)
The Seasoning Begins
- Cauldron ignited on pump.fun
- Twitter degens summoned
- This beautiful website (you are here)
- First 1,000 seasoned wallets
- Someone makes a meme that goes viral (hopefully)
The Simmer
- Chart starts looking like a rollercoaster (fun)
- Community invents cursed meme formats
- Someone tattoos $SPICE (we will not stop them)
- Whale enters, everyone panics, nothing happens
- 10,000 holders, half of them just vibing
Full Boil
- The cauldron cannot be contained
- Solana validators personally call to ask what is happening
- pump.fun adds a special salt shaker emoji
- Real life salt and pepper shakers with QR codes (maybe)
- We all meet up and make actual ramen together (definitely)
Frequently Yelled Questions
things people scream in the telegram at 3am